5 Ways to Save Money on Travel and Be Eco-Friendly

My lovely wife sent me this article yesterday which prompted this whole 'I need to blog about how stupid this is' conversation I had with myself:

link

Now I'm not trying to knock on Mr. Smith. I'm sure he had great intentions when his editor asked him to write a piece on how to save money in these trying times..but come on seriously? He might as well have said 'If you log online to travel sites such as Expedia.com or Travelocity.com you might find deals that will help you save when purchasing a ticket!' 2+2=4!!!

I have decided to offer my own version, albeit slightly modified:

5 Ways to Save Money on Travel and Be Eco-Friendly:
1) Walk

Scientists have noted that human beings have these things called legs, and if you put 1 foot in front of the other you complete this task called walking. In other news, if you walk from point A to point B you're doing something known as travelling.

2) Run

The distant cousin of walking, running allows you to get from point A to point B at a faster rate. In fact it has been noted that running is *gasp* good for your health and that if you do it a lot you will somehow lose weight and get in great shape. (Note: It is recommended you walk first before you run.)

3) Bike

A long time ago a very creative inventor decided to stick 2 round things called wheels to a frame and a bike was born. Known as the ultimate in eco green conservatism riding a bicycle will not only get you from point A to point B - at a rate faster than walking or running - it will also emit NO known environmental pollutants! Wowwwwww! Except of course if you pass gas and contribute to the methane problem we already have. You bastard!

4) Invent a teleporter.

By far the easiest of the top 5 ways to save money on travel, all you need to have is a super IQ of 5000000 billion million and once you make this you can eliminate cars, bikes, planes, you name it! Also you'll be the richest fucking person alive on this planet.

5) Have a lot of fucking money.

By completing 4 you will have 5 and as a result you won't have to save money on travel because you'll be rich and rich people are never frugal, cause .. well … they're fucking rich. Except for that one old guy who still lives in the first home he ever bought and drives a Crown Victoria..what was his name? Barren Wuffet or something? That guy is pimp.

One thing my friend pointed out to me was you could also just STAY HOME and not travel and you'd save a shitload of money. But that's just too obvious now isn't it? :).