Scientists have now proven that 'You are what you eat!' and it is especially important that you watch what you eat when you're pregnant and breastfeeding!
link
This just in from the AP:
Scientists have now proven that drinking coffee or alcohol, while breastfeeding, is detrimental to the health of your child. The caffeine and alcohol could cause a child to become extremely wired and intoxicated. More amazing news at 7pm!
Duh? C'mon? Duhhh?!! While it's merely a study I always wonder who the HELL pays these scientists to perform these studies. What's next? Why men like sex? Why women like to buy shoes?
Sigh.
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
Thank you to my 1 reader
As my single reader kindly pointed out I have been getting too ... hmmm .. boring for my own tastes. I will now deviate a bit to try to "spice" up my blog.
Instead of discussing articles I find amusing, also I'm wayyyy too lazy to keep looking for articles, I will talk about random shit..cause random shit is always good.
As you all may or may not know California passed a law stating on July 1st you will HAVE TO wear a headset if you want to talk on your cell phone! Bravo..bravo Mr. Arnold for signing in this wonderful law. Instead of dumbass drivers going 30mph on the freeway we'll now have dumbass drivers going 30mph on the freeway while looking like the freaking borg. Listen peoples it's not hard, pay attention to your fucking speed limit if you're driving on the freeway and attempting to talk on your cell phone. If you do not have the functional capacity to drive and talk at the speed limit, pull the fuck OVER and talk on the curb! Gah! Yes I am talking to you Ms. Soccer Mom in a SUV going 45mph on the freaking freeway while yakking away not understanding why everyone is giving you the 'go to hell' look.
Y'know nothing beats working up a good sweat at the gym, (cause y'know that's what you're supposed to do at a gym,duh) getting your rhythm going, breathing in breathing out, then smelling ass. Yes you heard me, ass. Thank you to whoever let a fart go in the middle of my workout, I truly and utterly appreciate smelling ASS while doing reps. Freaking hell people close your damn sphincter and let loose in the bathroom! Hold that shit in! That's right squeeze your buttocks and HOLD IT IN! Make it a workout! Just squeeze and hold, squeeze and hold! How hard is it?!?! C'MON!!! Even after having my appendix removed I can still hold my shit and fart's in!! If I can do it you can too!
Instead of discussing articles I find amusing, also I'm wayyyy too lazy to keep looking for articles, I will talk about random shit..cause random shit is always good.
As you all may or may not know California passed a law stating on July 1st you will HAVE TO wear a headset if you want to talk on your cell phone! Bravo..bravo Mr. Arnold for signing in this wonderful law. Instead of dumbass drivers going 30mph on the freeway we'll now have dumbass drivers going 30mph on the freeway while looking like the freaking borg. Listen peoples it's not hard, pay attention to your fucking speed limit if you're driving on the freeway and attempting to talk on your cell phone. If you do not have the functional capacity to drive and talk at the speed limit, pull the fuck OVER and talk on the curb! Gah! Yes I am talking to you Ms. Soccer Mom in a SUV going 45mph on the freaking freeway while yakking away not understanding why everyone is giving you the 'go to hell' look.
Y'know nothing beats working up a good sweat at the gym, (cause y'know that's what you're supposed to do at a gym,duh) getting your rhythm going, breathing in breathing out, then smelling ass. Yes you heard me, ass. Thank you to whoever let a fart go in the middle of my workout, I truly and utterly appreciate smelling ASS while doing reps. Freaking hell people close your damn sphincter and let loose in the bathroom! Hold that shit in! That's right squeeze your buttocks and HOLD IT IN! Make it a workout! Just squeeze and hold, squeeze and hold! How hard is it?!?! C'MON!!! Even after having my appendix removed I can still hold my shit and fart's in!! If I can do it you can too!
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Riiiiiggghhhttttt
Ok read this article, seriously, read it:
link
Then go 'Riiiiiiiggggggghhhhhtttt I believe you!' I mean the Oil Companies just HAD to post a RECORD profit in the entire history of the business this year and it happens ONLY because of Market demand. Uh huh, sure dood, I'm sureeee you believe that. In fact I'll bet you sleep better at night believing in your bullshit because if you didn't your head would implode.
Ugh!!
If they could just put 1 billion into alternative energy, solar, wind, anything else to promote it big time and be the front runner of eco energy that'd be awesome! But nope..they're going to milk oil dry until there's no more THEN they'll invest in alternative energies. Just like how the big 3 Auto companies are soooo surprised by the recent unloading of SUV's and TRUCKS that they're unable to retool for this 'unexpected' change. Ughhhhhh!!! Also come ON! Where was the hard hitting questions in this interview?!!?
Blech!
link
Then go 'Riiiiiiiggggggghhhhhtttt I believe you!' I mean the Oil Companies just HAD to post a RECORD profit in the entire history of the business this year and it happens ONLY because of Market demand. Uh huh, sure dood, I'm sureeee you believe that. In fact I'll bet you sleep better at night believing in your bullshit because if you didn't your head would implode.
Ugh!!
If they could just put 1 billion into alternative energy, solar, wind, anything else to promote it big time and be the front runner of eco energy that'd be awesome! But nope..they're going to milk oil dry until there's no more THEN they'll invest in alternative energies. Just like how the big 3 Auto companies are soooo surprised by the recent unloading of SUV's and TRUCKS that they're unable to retool for this 'unexpected' change. Ughhhhhh!!! Also come ON! Where was the hard hitting questions in this interview?!!?
Blech!
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Sign of the Times
As you all know with gas reaching an all time high of almost $5.00 per gallon, American drivers are finally (FINALLY) adjusting their driving habits and changing from those gigantic SUV's and Trucks to more practical and efficient vehicles.
(Please understand I totally respect your desire to drive a large and safe car, I also understand the justification for not switching if you can't afford another car, but if you can afford a new car and you're just driving the SUV because you're lazy/stupid then you suck.)
As a result more and more internet articles are discussing all the alternatives out there, from hybrids, hydrogen, and of course the electric car.
link
No doubt Mr. Valdes-Dapena meant well and of course the title is semi-accurate in that these cars are all available to purchase now .. sort of... but where he fails is actually classifying 4 of these golf-carts as cars.
1) Tesla - No doubt in my mind when this thing is finally released it will be the best electric vehicle out there. Of course not everyone can afford a 100k vehicle but if you can, kudos to you, and kick ass for helping out the world by driving this thing
2) GEM Car - You cannot tell me that this thing does not look like a glorified golf cart. This cannot even be classified as a car. Tell me how this is a car, if you get into an accident with this thing you are deader than a doorknob. Maybe .. maybe I can see a practical use for this thing driving from your home to the grocery store, as the range is only 30 miles, but for any real practical use? Forget about it.
3) Dynasty IT Sedan - See 2)
4) ZENN - See 2)
5) Zap Xebra - See 2) and this thing is ugly as hell.
However I am hopeful for the world as more and more Car manufacturers are switching over (read: FORCED) to more alternative vehicles.
(Please understand I totally respect your desire to drive a large and safe car, I also understand the justification for not switching if you can't afford another car, but if you can afford a new car and you're just driving the SUV because you're lazy/stupid then you suck.)
As a result more and more internet articles are discussing all the alternatives out there, from hybrids, hydrogen, and of course the electric car.
link
No doubt Mr. Valdes-Dapena meant well and of course the title is semi-accurate in that these cars are all available to purchase now .. sort of... but where he fails is actually classifying 4 of these golf-carts as cars.
1) Tesla - No doubt in my mind when this thing is finally released it will be the best electric vehicle out there. Of course not everyone can afford a 100k vehicle but if you can, kudos to you, and kick ass for helping out the world by driving this thing
2) GEM Car - You cannot tell me that this thing does not look like a glorified golf cart. This cannot even be classified as a car. Tell me how this is a car, if you get into an accident with this thing you are deader than a doorknob. Maybe .. maybe I can see a practical use for this thing driving from your home to the grocery store, as the range is only 30 miles, but for any real practical use? Forget about it.
3) Dynasty IT Sedan - See 2)
4) ZENN - See 2)
5) Zap Xebra - See 2) and this thing is ugly as hell.
However I am hopeful for the world as more and more Car manufacturers are switching over (read: FORCED) to more alternative vehicles.
Friday, June 20, 2008
The Segway
Some time ago this very smart inventor named Dean Kamen unleashed upon the world an invention he thought would revolutionize the Urban City setting. This invention was known as THE SEGWAY. Despite all the accolades and respect that Kamen has, in the end he released a big electronic.. 2 wheeled nerd scooter.
Because no matter who you are, what you do with it, you look like a big ass dork. Seriously, I don't care if you're a cop, postal worker, government agent, whatevers, you look like a big ass dork riding a self balancing scooter.
Then I come upon this article:
link
Now normally I love reading things from Popular Mechanics, they're usually on the money and do have some great articles. But when they decide to write an article entitled:
1) Policing - Now granted the added height and speed COULD be a benefit to cops. However at the same time you're making the cops even more out of shape by allowing them to ride something that doesn't benefit them in any physical way, that say .. rollerblades or a skateboard or something that would make them MOVE their actual feet. Cause come on every time I see cops on Segways I don't think 'Damn that guy looks intimidating' I think 'Oh look an out of shape cop on a Segway, scary.' Don't forget the cost and maintenance of the Segway vs those fit cops who actually ride mountain bikes.
2) Worksite Mobility - Are you fraking kidding me? This guy can't get a pushcart, load it with the equipment, and wheel it over to the other side? How much time do you ACTUALLY save with the damn Segway? Not to mention the fact that you're adding a $5,000 dollar cost to save like 2 minutes vs walking with a push cart?!?! Arghh!
3) Saving Lives - Ok I will bend for this one as this makes some practical sense. I can't think of any other method for paramedics to get onto a scene with equipment quickly and safely, than with a Segway. But the only issue again is the cost of the damn things, I thought hospitals were strapped for cash to begin with? Can you honestly tell me getting $5,000 dollar Segways is justifiable?
4) Saves Gas - This .. is by far the stupidest thing I have ever read. You know what else doesn't use Gas? A freaking bicycle! You know what also gets you in shape? A freaking bicycle!! There is no justifiable reason to get a damn Segway at $5,000 + electricity usage when you can ride a freaking bike!!
So to sum up the damn thing costs $5,000 dollars, uses electricity, has maintenance costs, and it's supposed to be practical?
Ugh.
Because no matter who you are, what you do with it, you look like a big ass dork. Seriously, I don't care if you're a cop, postal worker, government agent, whatevers, you look like a big ass dork riding a self balancing scooter.
Then I come upon this article:
link
Now normally I love reading things from Popular Mechanics, they're usually on the money and do have some great articles. But when they decide to write an article entitled:
4 Practical Reasons the Segway Isn't Actually That Lame Anymore
I become very afraid because in the end the 4 practical reasons aren't actually all that damn practical. Look I think the Segway is a cool device, I really do, I just don't see how it's a justifiable item. Let us address the 4 reasons:1) Policing - Now granted the added height and speed COULD be a benefit to cops. However at the same time you're making the cops even more out of shape by allowing them to ride something that doesn't benefit them in any physical way, that say .. rollerblades or a skateboard or something that would make them MOVE their actual feet. Cause come on every time I see cops on Segways I don't think 'Damn that guy looks intimidating' I think 'Oh look an out of shape cop on a Segway, scary.' Don't forget the cost and maintenance of the Segway vs those fit cops who actually ride mountain bikes.
2) Worksite Mobility - Are you fraking kidding me? This guy can't get a pushcart, load it with the equipment, and wheel it over to the other side? How much time do you ACTUALLY save with the damn Segway? Not to mention the fact that you're adding a $5,000 dollar cost to save like 2 minutes vs walking with a push cart?!?! Arghh!
3) Saving Lives - Ok I will bend for this one as this makes some practical sense. I can't think of any other method for paramedics to get onto a scene with equipment quickly and safely, than with a Segway. But the only issue again is the cost of the damn things, I thought hospitals were strapped for cash to begin with? Can you honestly tell me getting $5,000 dollar Segways is justifiable?
4) Saves Gas - This .. is by far the stupidest thing I have ever read. You know what else doesn't use Gas? A freaking bicycle! You know what also gets you in shape? A freaking bicycle!! There is no justifiable reason to get a damn Segway at $5,000 + electricity usage when you can ride a freaking bike!!
So to sum up the damn thing costs $5,000 dollars, uses electricity, has maintenance costs, and it's supposed to be practical?
Ugh.
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Words fail me.
Every once in a while I come across an article where I'm left dumbfounded by the sheer stupidity of people. Then I remember that stupidity is the norm in news because who the hell wants to read about real news when stuff like this is gold!!
link
That's right folks some 18 year old dood decided that it would be a freaking great idea, on the fly, to rob a girl who was running a lemonade stand. Do you know how much he stole? $17.50 - because as we all know little girl's and their lemonade stands are like Google, $$$$$$!
*Sigh*
The best part of the story was that the little girl gave chase to the guy, trapped him in a house, then the police arrested him. This is where I fell off my chair dying in laughter. An 18 year old man, robs a little 12 year old girl, the little 12 year old girl manages to CHASE this guy down, corner him into a house, and keep him trapped there until the police showed up? This is an article where you have to go 'PICS PLEASE!'
Ah life how you amuse me so.
link
That's right folks some 18 year old dood decided that it would be a freaking great idea, on the fly, to rob a girl who was running a lemonade stand. Do you know how much he stole? $17.50 - because as we all know little girl's and their lemonade stands are like Google, $$$$$$!
*Sigh*
The best part of the story was that the little girl gave chase to the guy, trapped him in a house, then the police arrested him. This is where I fell off my chair dying in laughter. An 18 year old man, robs a little 12 year old girl, the little 12 year old girl manages to CHASE this guy down, corner him into a house, and keep him trapped there until the police showed up? This is an article where you have to go 'PICS PLEASE!'
Ah life how you amuse me so.
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
5 Ways to Save Money on Travel and Be Eco-Friendly
My lovely wife sent me this article yesterday which prompted this whole 'I need to blog about how stupid this is' conversation I had with myself:
link
Now I'm not trying to knock on Mr. Smith. I'm sure he had great intentions when his editor asked him to write a piece on how to save money in these trying times..but come on seriously? He might as well have said 'If you log online to travel sites such as Expedia.com or Travelocity.com you might find deals that will help you save when purchasing a ticket!' 2+2=4!!!
I have decided to offer my own version, albeit slightly modified:
5 Ways to Save Money on Travel and Be Eco-Friendly:
1) Walk
Scientists have noted that human beings have these things called legs, and if you put 1 foot in front of the other you complete this task called walking. In other news, if you walk from point A to point B you're doing something known as travelling.
2) Run
The distant cousin of walking, running allows you to get from point A to point B at a faster rate. In fact it has been noted that running is *gasp* good for your health and that if you do it a lot you will somehow lose weight and get in great shape. (Note: It is recommended you walk first before you run.)
3) Bike
A long time ago a very creative inventor decided to stick 2 round things called wheels to a frame and a bike was born. Known as the ultimate in eco green conservatism riding a bicycle will not only get you from point A to point B - at a rate faster than walking or running - it will also emit NO known environmental pollutants! Wowwwwww! Except of course if you pass gas and contribute to the methane problem we already have. You bastard!
4) Invent a teleporter.
By far the easiest of the top 5 ways to save money on travel, all you need to have is a super IQ of 5000000 billion million and once you make this you can eliminate cars, bikes, planes, you name it! Also you'll be the richest fucking person alive on this planet.
5) Have a lot of fucking money.
By completing 4 you will have 5 and as a result you won't have to save money on travel because you'll be rich and rich people are never frugal, cause .. well … they're fucking rich. Except for that one old guy who still lives in the first home he ever bought and drives a Crown Victoria..what was his name? Barren Wuffet or something? That guy is pimp.
One thing my friend pointed out to me was you could also just STAY HOME and not travel and you'd save a shitload of money. But that's just too obvious now isn't it? :).
link
Now I'm not trying to knock on Mr. Smith. I'm sure he had great intentions when his editor asked him to write a piece on how to save money in these trying times..but come on seriously? He might as well have said 'If you log online to travel sites such as Expedia.com or Travelocity.com you might find deals that will help you save when purchasing a ticket!' 2+2=4!!!
I have decided to offer my own version, albeit slightly modified:
5 Ways to Save Money on Travel and Be Eco-Friendly:
1) Walk
Scientists have noted that human beings have these things called legs, and if you put 1 foot in front of the other you complete this task called walking. In other news, if you walk from point A to point B you're doing something known as travelling.
2) Run
The distant cousin of walking, running allows you to get from point A to point B at a faster rate. In fact it has been noted that running is *gasp* good for your health and that if you do it a lot you will somehow lose weight and get in great shape. (Note: It is recommended you walk first before you run.)
3) Bike
A long time ago a very creative inventor decided to stick 2 round things called wheels to a frame and a bike was born. Known as the ultimate in eco green conservatism riding a bicycle will not only get you from point A to point B - at a rate faster than walking or running - it will also emit NO known environmental pollutants! Wowwwwww! Except of course if you pass gas and contribute to the methane problem we already have. You bastard!
4) Invent a teleporter.
By far the easiest of the top 5 ways to save money on travel, all you need to have is a super IQ of 5000000 billion million and once you make this you can eliminate cars, bikes, planes, you name it! Also you'll be the richest fucking person alive on this planet.
5) Have a lot of fucking money.
By completing 4 you will have 5 and as a result you won't have to save money on travel because you'll be rich and rich people are never frugal, cause .. well … they're fucking rich. Except for that one old guy who still lives in the first home he ever bought and drives a Crown Victoria..what was his name? Barren Wuffet or something? That guy is pimp.
One thing my friend pointed out to me was you could also just STAY HOME and not travel and you'd save a shitload of money. But that's just too obvious now isn't it? :).
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)